I'm Sorry you're over weight!

Four words I, lulu, have NEVER heard spoken to moi in my  life!!!!  The Delta Baggage Beasty informed the BOTH of us that we were over the load limit in our respective bags.  Thinking that $50 each for overage wouldn't be bad we happily whipped out the smokin' credit cards for payment. WRONG.  Apparently word got out that we'd been shopping Round Top and therefore a Junk-in-your-trunk penalty was initiated ( And we thought the trucker scales were bad...).  Lauri's load was more egregious with a whopping weight of 75 lbs and $140 penalty.  Mine was a mere welterweight of 66 lbs with a $90 penalty-no S*(#.  Lauri was given the option of removing 5 lbs of 'stuff'.  Do you know how heavy butter pats are? Very.

 

The Beasty''s sidekick, Jose Cuervo, asked what all those packages were.  Lauri told him they were butter pats.  He then asked us why we carried pieces of butter around and wouldn't it melt all over the clothes?  What genuis!  I believe he is the flip side of Darwin's 'Survival of the Fittest'....Survival of the Dimmest.  Really.

Sometimes we really feel like Lucy and Ethel in our outings.  We had so much junk out on the floor of the terminal.  We created such a ruckus.  I am glad we got to the airport FOUR HOURS PRIOR to our flight.  So much time to avoid arrest.  The earlier flight to Atlanta was full so we were left to wander.  We went through security without incident.  This is a major accomplishment.  We rewarded ourselves with a cool beverage and some nachos.  I, lulu, needed to use the ladies room and proceeded to find the nearest NON-PORTA-POTTY.  It was then I discovered that 1.  it was 55 minutes to our flight and 2.  we were in the WRONG PART OF THE TERMINAL> AND HAD TO GO THROUGH SECURITY AGAIN.    W.T.F.

Ladies and Gents I WAS AFRAID.  Firstly, I am so dumb.  I looked at the T.V. and saw Eastern Time and forgot we were still in Central TIme Zone. I made her get off of the phone to her BELOVED SON b/c I thought we were going to miss the plane.  THEN I had to tell HER we had to go through a different security line which meant the cowboy boots had to come off for a second TIME.  Oh dear.  I hate when she looks at me with that crack head fake smile.  I RAN to the other line hoping I would avoid her until after the second pat down.  As I was putting on my boots I heard a shrill noise and some 'dang dang dang dang dang dang'.  Lauri was in her verbal stage of delivering a bitch-slap to the woman who had the nerve to put her shoes back on right in line instead of moving to the more comfortable seating area.  I hid.  When I saw no one being taken away in handcuffs I knew I'd see her at the gate.  Even baby hid... SO...our plane was going from Houston to Atlanta to Dubai.  I told Lauri we needed to REALLY pay attention otherwise we might end up in some other dusty, windy place wearing polka dotted burkas.....aaaaay!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled Chippys post.

oxox